


20 Times

by Astronoddingoff



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Blowjobs, Cunnilingus, F/F, F/M, Injury (not serious), Laughter During Sex, M/M, Multi, Sex is harder than anyone wants to admit, Slight Canon Divergence, These poor poor nerds just want to have a good time, but still, everything is the same but Vina is on the ship, its all lighthearted, the struggle is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 02:52:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astronoddingoff/pseuds/Astronoddingoff
Summary: Twenty times that the Commanding Officers of the Enterprise tried to bone, and it went hilariously wrong.Also Titled "Sex is harder than holo-porn makes it out to be, and they're just glad they can laugh it off with one another" bc lets face it, when you run a starship, shit goes down, and sex is hard even when you Aren't the one running the ship. Fluffy, funny, and mostly lighthearted shenanigans ensue.





	20 Times

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a canon divergence AU I have planned (but haven’t written yet lol don't come for me) so here’s the down low: Vina left Talos after the events of Disco S2 finale, got some Diddly Dang Medical Attention (and some sick cybernetics to boot), joined the academy for asylum seekers, graduated as a xenobiologist, and finally joined the Enterprise within a few years. Feelings happen between her and the poly Chris/Una/Phil Squad and they end up in a weird four way complicated relationship bc Feelings Are Fun. You don’t need to know all that, but just in case you’re wondering why/how Vina is here, that’s why.

1.) 

It was not the first time Phil and Chris attempted sex. Nor was it even the first time they did so in Phil’s office. Hell, they had done far more acrobatic things on the Exact Same biobed, why would this round be any different? And it hadn’t been, initially. Kissing led to Chris hopping on the bed, to Phil following him down, to them shoving pants aside and down to take each other in hand. Gasping in each other’s mouths, hips rocking gently and shaking arms wrapping each other up as they got closer and closer-

_ *CLANG* _

A bang and a crash of metal and suddenly their visions were streaking and they were sliding headfirst upwards somehow. They both squealed surprised shrieks higher in pitch than two men with voices as deep as theirs had any business being in the range of. Phil flailed out an arm over their heads on pure instinct and managed to do so just in time before they smacked into the durasteel wall, colliding instead with an arm held at the world's most awkward angle. 

They took a moment. A breath.They Realized.

They broke the damn bed. A durasteel enforced biobed. They almost got  _ concussed, _ or god help them,  _ knocked out,  _ because they  _ broke a goddamn biobed. _ Chris broke the silence with a hissed “Pfft” and quickly busted out into full laughter just before they heard the sounds of nurses rushing towards his office door.

They managed to tuck themselves away and got Phil off the bed just before the door opened and a flood of nurses rushed in demanding to know what happened, what was the noise, were they ok. Turns out, the bed was in need of repairs.

They did, incidentally, finish. Not before moving to Phil’s desk and spending a good ten minutes laughing so hard they were near tears, though.

 

2.) 

If Una had a credit for every time the damn straps on her strap on flipped in a weird manner, or got tangled as she was putting it on, she would have made back all that she spent on the damn thing. Yeah, having one was hot as shit, and it made her feel like the most powerful woman alive while in it and looking down on her writhing partner, but god damn was it inconvenient sometimes. And the toys themselves were a  _ whole other chapter _ to that story. The time that one of their vibrators just  _ stopped,  _ when it was buried to the hilt in both herself and her Phil, as she was showing Vina -who had only  _ just _ joined their relationship- how she fucks him? And when they couldn’t get the damn thing back on and just decided it wasn’t worth taking the whole thing off and just kept going? God, it was the most frustrated orgasms she wrangled out of them. Damn nuisance.

 

3.) 

Chris grew up touch starved. And as Captain, he doesn’t really have a whole lot of room to alleviate that. Una and Phil are really the only ones who can touch him beyond platonic and casual brushes. It’s easy to get overwhelmed from it sometimes, just like it’s easy for touch to go in a different direction even if you  _ aren’t _ responsive as hell like he is. Sometimes cuddling on their couch leads to sex, yes. Sometimes it leads to laughter and play wrestling, or it becomes too much and they all pull away, or it even ends up in them just laying on top of one another like stacked boards and crushing each other with their body weights. And that’s fine. They like it very much, actually.

And then Vina graduated and joined the ship. And they were all friends and they all get along fine, hung out together, ate together, made sure they all felt welcome. And then feelings started to pop up. And spontaneous kisses in the botany lab and casual touches lead to  _ more, _ led to discussions, confessions,  _ realizations _ . Vina is  _ even more starved _ than Chris is. She grew up well and truly  _ alone, _ only the Talosians presence around, and even then they apparently barely physically touched her. She had herself, the minimal entertainment systems left from the crash, and her imagination for damn near her entire life. And sex for them became an even bigger challenge than before.

Sex is something that’s incredibly overstimulating, but it’s something they all want. Together. Something Vina craves just as badly as she craves the play fighting, the distance, the crushing human jenga. And that means it’s worth the wait. Worth the trial and error. Worth the work upwards to it. Even if it leaves all of them wanting.

 

4.) 

Lube noises. Just, in general. Full stop. Enough said. Never fails to break a serious moment. Whether it’s from the bottle, from going at it hard and the wet slap of skin on skin is just too funny to take seriously, the smears of it on the sheets and skin from hurriedly wiping off fingers. Also the memorable occasion they spilled the bottle on the floor and promptly forgot it until upon waking hours later, when it sent Chris flat on his ass first thing in the morning when he attempted to go shower. Thank god they’re old enough to be able to laugh it off and move on. Sex really  _ would _ be impossible if they couldn’t.

 

5.) 

The very first time Una and Vina decided to have sex, it was full of nerves. Vina had never been with  _ anyone, _ and though that wasn’t the same for Una, she knew exactly what that felt like. Una had taken her under her wing, tried her damndest to be the partner Vina needed and wanted. Bought her her first toy, talked openly about her own experiences, kept her touches with her partner carefully tame and checked in often.

One night, Vina asked her, as Una sucked gentle hickeys into her neck during a movie, if she would be open to going further the next night. Asked so sweetly but with so much open  _ want _ in her eyes as she asked. And Una, usually a woman who one would decidedly not describe as ‘bashful’ or ‘easily flustered’,  _ blushed so red _ and became tongue tied and it was all she could do to nod and give a grinning Vina a kiss.

When the date came, it was surprisingly relaxed. And then came the walk back to Una’s quarters, the nerves rising. No distinct fears so much as it was inconvenient worry and expected anticipation. They got to her quarters, slowly undressed each other-

To reveal that Vina had either blackmailed Chris to get the override codes for the replicator, or she kept more secrets than she let on, as she had been wearing lacy blue underwear under her clothes for their entire date. Very  _ familiar _ underwear, at that.

Una felt her mounting nerves crumble in the face of the sheer  _ hilarity _ of the situation. She laughed as she pulled at her own undershirt and ignored Vina’s indignent questioning. She pulled her undershirt off and flung it, revealing the exact same bra Vina wore, in red, that Una had picked out just for this. Watched as Vina, who had looked put out by her sudden burst of laughter, took one look at her chest and then snorted into her own giggles.

“I- I picked this out because I thought you would like it!” Vina stuttered though embarrassed giggles and the hands that had risen to cover her flushed face.

“Well,” Una managed through a wheeze as she shucked off her pants to reveal the matching bottoms. “You weren’t wrong! Because I did the  _ same fucking thing” _

They didn’t even get to sex; they lounged in their lace, cuddled up and laughing still, and watched some terrible horror movie. Still a fantastic date, all in all.

 

6.) 

Their first threesome managing to work out was nothing less than a  _ miracle _ performed by sex pollen and desperation. Their second attempt was just them and their willpower, and it was not nearly as smooth. It took at least 4 different shuffles for them to move into something vaguely resembling a sexual position, and even then, wiggling until they were all comfortable and not elbowing each other in the face or torso while also still being able to move? A Herculean task. By the time they all managed to settle into something mildly comfortable it had been so long that the arousal had dimmed and left the two dicks in the room only half-hard.

“Coulda saved the time and energy if we just jacked off in front of each other” Phil jested goodnaturedly. 

“Let’s stick a pin in that for later. We’ve come this far, we can’t trip at the finish line” Retorted Chris

“Baby, if this is the finish line, I’ve never had an orgasm in my life” Una quipped. Chris just grinned up at her.

“That can change”

When they finally stopped laughing, they did indeed manage to reach said finish line.

 

7.) 

In the same vein, their first foursome when they all Finally had time, were all on ship,  _ and _ felt ready? Long awaited and Very Complicated. They had been in their four man relationship for nearly a year before they even got the chance. And fitting all four of them on the bed was a  _ nightmare. _

They were just sort of taking turns in an uneven, sloppy (and hot), orgy. And it  _ was _ hot- until a wayward thrust between a kneeling Vina and Phil put the two of them off balance, arms flailing out. Una dove to steady them and an unfortunate elbow smacked her directly in the right tit and sent her flying ass over teakettle off the side of the bed. She went down swearing like a sailor, clutching her breast and hit the floor in a heap and a crash of limbs, before bolting up from the floor with her hair in her face and an indignant half grin on her face.

_ “What The Fuck?!” _ Cried jokingly through a laugh. It sent them all from shocked silence into a laughing fit as Vina pulled herself off Phil and reached for their partner, wheezing out how sorry she was.

From then on, they just pooled the comforters and blankets from Chris and Unas rooms on the floor to avoid a repeat performance of  _ that  _ particular night. Or they took turns while the others looked on. Damn those regulation beds for being so damn narrow.

 

8.) 

Being marked up is something all of them enjoy, both giving and receiving. And it’s great, and they all love it. But god do they have to be extra careful on away missions now. The sheer amount of times that someone has gone down, gotten injured and beamed back up, sent to medical, and stripped down only to expose not only the planetside injury but all their... shall we say, love marks, is too many. The doctors may be professionals, but it’s incredibly hard to be the Captain, First Officer, CMO, or Xenobotany Specialist of the whole crew and have those working under you stoically heal the bite marks that their other commanding officers put on you the night before. Not to mention the other members of the away team on the other surrounding beds gawking at the scratches and bruises and bites going down your back, over your hips, your neck. The walk of shame has  _ nothing _ on having to look those people in the eyes again.

 

9.) 

The sheer amount of times that coming in a timely manner is  _ just impossible _ is ridiculous. They’re not in their twenties anymore, so when they do get to have sex -either in pairs or all together- they generally like to Actually Come and also get each other off. But no, the universe is a cruel mistress and they are but her willing subs.

Sometimes Una or Vina will go to sink down onto their boyfriends and someone just gets overwhelmed for no discernible reason and it’ll be mere minutes before someone is swearing and coming and whispering their apologies through the aftershocks and they have to all re-engineer their positions to allow for some face fucking or something to get the other off as well.

Sometimes they’ve carved out time, they’re in the mood, they’re ready and willing, but they  _ just can’t fucking come. _ And those are the worst; when your partners are sated and your bones ache with the want to come but something just isn’t in it to win it. And their head is full of arousal and frustration and they just climb higher and higher with no end until someone pulls them into a cuddle to try again later, or manages to finally work them into an orgasm that somehow satisfies and also doesn’t.

Their in their forties. They should be pros at getting themselves off while also  _ not  _ shooting off at the first sign of sex like virgins by now. And yet.

 

10.) 

Sex on the clock is  _ theoretically _ a fun idea. Images in their heads of wearing lingerie under their work clothes, waiting for one of them to come along and pull their uniforms off always spark arousal. Or thoughts of wearing toys during report write up hours, gasping and trying not to grind into the chair and come until the reports are done. Fantasies of fucking each other over their stations, their office desks, nearby supply closets. All  _ incredibly _ attractive concepts in theory. In practice, well.

The first time Phil and Vina tried to slink off to the supplies closet near the botany labs, they opened the door only to find Lieutenant Amin and another coworker of Vinas already there, tongues down each other’s throats until they pulled away at the flood of light. For a few seconds, no one moved, until Phil promptly shut the door on the two women and walked Vina back to the botany lab.

This was not the first time any of them had walked in on their subordinates getting it on in some random pocket of the ship. It would not be their last either. Ship life was like that, sometimes. God knew they had been there when they were younger. Still, inconvenient.

God, even trying to fuck in their rooms was mission impossible sometimes. Fucking outside of them besides quick adrenaline fueled hand jobs in the ready room or Boyce’s office was a Goddamn Miracle. Someone  _ always _ needed  _ something. _ Duty called, or the brass did, or something needed oversight somewhere; always  _ something. _ They had at least two toys and lube hidden away in both they boy’s offices just in case of another miracle, but it was a vain hope at best most weeks.

 

11.) 

Generally, the only time sex between all of them happens is if they can afford to lose the sleep. And as a twenty year old, that’s fine and dandy. But they’re not twenty somethings; they’re old, and god knows they need their sleep. 

Chris was halfway through fucking Una once when she started to drift off, and he was honestly no better. He ended up pulling out and just falling asleep on top of her, still half hard. One time, Vina was working herself on Phil’s dick only to hear a snore, and looked up to see Phil had somehow fallen dead asleep while buried in her. She laughed so hard he woke up and was instantly tripping over embarrassed apologies that Vina waved off through giggles.

It’s happened between all of them at least a few times. No hard feelings. They’ve each spent years getting themselves off, once more doesn’t hurt. Plus, naked cuddles are undoubtedly the best cuddles. Even better since they’re not falling asleep in a gross post-sex mess.

 

12.) 

They have, between the four of them, broken... a  _ couple  _ pieces of furniture on a few different occasions. A biobed, Unas bed, Chris’s desk chair -which nearly concussed both Vina and Chris when it went down and took them both with it. None of these, however mortifying the work orders were to call in, were more embarrassing than the time Vina and Una stayed the night in a guest house on a new planetary ally and had to bashfully tell their hosts the next morning that they broke the bed. In front of their landing party, their hosts advisors, and then later, both Chris and Phil. They’ll never live that one down. It’s at least gotten funnier with time. 

 

13.) 

Shower sex is a myth concocted by the porn industry. Or, t the very least, didn’t take ship showers into consideration. They do share showers (two at a time, because said damn showers aren’t built for all of them, as much as they wish they were), but it’s not nearly as sexually exciting as the holo’s make it out to be. Half the time it’s just because they’re all grimy from a long day and just want to clean off and crash as soon as possible, and showering together is just economical. Honestly, on those days, the hot water hitting sore necks and backs is better than any potential shower sex could be.

Instead, they find a different kind of intimacy in those showers. Washing each other off with gentle hands and lathered soap, or using the special, non-reg’s products from their stashes that smell like their homes, or other planets they’ve been to. Gentle kisses pressed into napes of necks, behind ears, into shoulders. Firm but gentle fingers rubbing at sore muscles, pulling sighs, gentle moans, grateful murmurs from whoever receives it. Fingers carding through drying hair as their other partners hand off warmed towels as they switch out, knowing they’ll return the sweet gesture. The soft way they cling to one another as they put on moisturizer, in play shoving each other as they brush their teeth next to one another, in pulling each other close and murmuring “you smell nice” as they trade sleepy goodnight kisses. 

Shower sex sounds like fun in theory, but if each of them are honest, these tender moments are better than sex.

 

14.) 

Getting called away during the middle of sex is one of the more frustrating sexual blunders that they’re resigned to. It’s not easy to stuff an erect dick or a dripping crotch back into clothes and then out the door in anywhere between 30 seconds and a few minutes, but anyone who’s lived on a starship makes do. But god, does command have its drawbacks.

The amount of times at least one of them will get a comm mid-thrust asking for a second eye, for their presence on the bridge, to oversee this or that. And because “uh No, I’m currently fucking your commanding officer right now” isn’t an acceptable answer, they have to pull themselves away and grit their teeth and promise “next time”. Over. And. Over.

The brass always want an update or to bitch them out for something that happened from their last mission, or the next shift needs their help, or an experiment went wrong in the labs, or someone needs the CMO, or  _ something else  _ because when you’re in charge, suddenly the ship is always two damn seconds from falling to pieces _. _ And by the time the issue is resolved the moment is always gone, or they’re too tired to bother keeping going. The shared misery in getting blue-balled by underlings that would never know it is almost funny, but god is it frustrating.

 

15.) 

They count themselves lucky that the only time any of them were ever really “walked in on”, nothing really came of it. Their relationship isn’t a secret per-se, but god, the gossip that would result from catching the ships commanding officers mid-fuck would be a hell, and if it got off-ship and the brass found out? A bureaucratic  _ nightmare. _

They were planetside, exploring the new territory of a Class M. Their landing party- Chris, Vina, and four others- had stumbled through dense brush and found a beach leading to either a large lake or a small ocean inlet. They mapped the area for hours, eventually leading Pike to let them all go forth in pairs to explore as they wanted, saying himself and Vina would scan the water and it’s plantlife. The other four had promptly scattered into the surrounding lush woods, looking at various wildlife and other things. And the water had been such a deep and captivating purple, with such lovely fruity smelling flowers growing on its surface. Such a romantic place to happen upon. And it  _ was, _ upon scanning, safe enough to  _ drink, _ so why not a small swim?

They had stripped to their undershirts and underwear, fully intent on only taking a short cooling dip and trading a few kisses. But you know, one thing leads to another, and the water was safe enough- it wasn’t like it was gonna put either of them into toxic shock anytime soon. 

He stood in the deeper water with her legs wrapped around his waist, underwear neatly shoved aside. Above the surface it was perfectly fine, though they were a bit close. Just an innocent embrace. Under the surface their hips rocked together, brought them closer and closer. They breathed each other’s air, the flowers scent, watched the dark purple waves crest around them as they gasped in each others faces and barreled towards their peaks, just cresting over them-

When they heard whooping and splashing from the other side of the bank and their heads spun to see their coworkers diving into the water too. 

Their orgasms shook through them unwaveringly, followed by waves of panic and fumbling hands and gasps as they rode the waves of their releases. Recovering, they tried to adjust themselves and disengage and look presentable and in doing so Vina’s legs loosened just a bit too much and with a small yelp she dropped below the surface, Chris diving behind her in an vain attempt to grab her. When they resurfaced, sputtering and still grasping at their clothes, one of the lieutenants called to them.

“Cooling off was a great idea, Sir!” Followed by laughter as their subordinates joked and splashed at each other. Vina and Chris looked at each other, held it together for maybe two seconds before bursting out into laughter so persistent and hard that they had to go further up on the sand to avoid drowning.

 

16.)

The learning curve of finding how to drive your partner wild is always an interesting time. The little motions of their bodies, the noises, the little tells of when they each got close. A comfortable knowledge of how their lovers worked. And they had thought the they knew each other well, and then Vina joined them.

The woman was so quiet in bed that it was borderline  _ worrying. _ The first time she and Una had sex (for real, this time), Una had to stop where she was kissing down Vina’s abdomen to make sure she was fine, that this was wanted. She got a very enthusiastic ‘yes’. She continued. No noises, no hands coming up to tangle in her hair. Check again, still yes, keep moving, still nothing. After the third check, Vina stopped her.

“Una, if you don’t want to do this then it’s ok if-“

“No! No, I want this, but you’re just-“ Una paused, rephrased. The last thing  _ anyone _ wants to hear during their first time is ‘Something’s wrong with you’. 

“You just don’t seem like you...  _ want _ this?” Vina cocked her head. Una sighed. “I’m not saying you have to like, scream or rip my hair out, but, I want to know if you like what I’m doing. Need to, actually” She half laughed.

Vina smiled softly, warmly. “I’m sorry. I’m just, used to... being quiet? I trust you though. And, I promise I’ll speak up if I have an issue to report.” She says in kind jest. Puts a hand on Unas arm, gives her a soft kiss. “Now, would you  _ please _ keep going?”

And that she did, seeking Vina’s tells, cataloging every little twitch and sigh and roll for future reference- and a reference for their boys, when the time came. Lord knew the both of them would worry themselves sick if she didn’t give them some form of guideline for their lover.

 

17.) 

To ease Vina into feeling more comfortable during sex, and also to pull them all closer, they all started a lovely little game of pairing off and getting each other off while another partner watched. Loads of fun, very hot. There’s a little bit of an exibitionist or a voyeur in all of them, it seems. On one such day, Chris decided to sink to his knees and blow Phil on his private quarters couch while Vina looked on, touching herself at the other end. And god, was it  _ hot. _ The little noises Vina made, the motions Phil made against Chris as he watched the both of them, it was all so good. And Chris was nothing but a showman, pulling out all the stops of making it a slow, unbearable experience and Phil wanted to kill him for it. Chris teased him a bit more and pulled a moan from him, long and low.

Vina whimpered. Phil clocked it.

“Oh hon, wait till he goes down on you. He won’t stop till you scream” He managed through huffing breaths. He didn’t expect a response.

He got one.

“I’ll fuck him into the mattress if he thinks he can tease me like that and get away with it” Vina replied lowly through pants, full of naked desire and determination, like she  _ dared _ him to try it.

It was so left field, so openly brazen and painted such a clear scorching picture, and coming from  _ her, _ the woman who was so normally quiet and passive? In the wake of that bombshell, three things happened almost at once.

Chris choked a bit with his surprise- or the sudden pulse of arousal- and pulled off his dick with a  _ pop _ to recover, which combined with the mental image Vina supplied had Phil crying out and coming  _ hard, _ directly in Chris’s face. Which went  _ everywhere;  _ his hair, his mouth, down his neck, even on the collar of his uniform. There were a few seconds where no one moved beyond Phil slumping into the couch. No one said anything. Vina looked on in shock, hand stilled, not knowing how to proceed. 

Chris swiped a casual hand to his face, caught a drop of come off his eyelashes and said, smooth as anything and deadpanned for humor,

“You’re lucky I’ve got long lashes, because if you got come in my eye I would have been  _ very _ annoyed with you”

 

18.) 

Nice underwear and/or lingerie under work uniforms is a nice thought. Sure it feels great, is a big ol’ boost to the self confidence, and is a prospect easily teased with to their partners. And sitting in a uniform as tight and conservative as theirs, you’ll take all the sexiness that you can get.

It’s great, right up until its not. And there’s a battle, or an away mission, or something inevitably goes wrong and it pulls you from what otherwise should have been a quiet shift with a speed faster than maximum warp. And then you’re running around on adrenaline and sweating up a storm and climbing in and out of jefferies tubes and patching things and giving orders and getting covered in every substance known to humanity and plenty that aren’t and doing damage control and the list goes on and on. And suddenly your nice underwear really isn’t the thing one would aspire to be wearing in that exact moment.

Each of them had on at least one occasion come back from a long shift covered in stale sweat, god knows what else, and the the tattered remains of their uniforms, jaded. Stripped down to that nice underwear, and stepped into the shower still clad in it because lord knew they both needed the wash. 

You don’t know how much you love someone until you’re standing in the shower together, dead on your collective feet, both clad in sexy underwear and you’re almost too tired to even laugh that you both had the same idea. Almost.

 

19.) 

Some nights, Chris just has had enough being in charge. Where the weight of the world is on his shoulders and as soon as he walks into the threshold of their rooms he’s flinging his Command golds off along with that weight and sinking to his knees in front of the closest warm body he can find.

One such night occurred, after a long double shift and even more hours on top of that spent on the following paperwork. Chris, dead on his feet, shucked off his jacket and dropped to his knees in front of her where she sat on the couch. She uncrossed her legs without looking up from her padd, threaded her fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp as he pulled her sweats down and pushed his face between her thighs if only to drown out the world for a little while.

He pulled a climax from her, left her gasping for him, murmuring praise, and she looked down at him for the first time since they started to praise him some more when, _ wait. _

In the dim lighting of their quarters, his mouth looked dark. Like it was covered in something dark.

She called for lights to raise in a rising worry and shit, his mouth was  _ covered  _ in blood. She swore, grabbed his face, looked into his tired half lidded eyes as she flushed red with her embarrassment.

“Chris! Why the _ fuck _ didn’t you say something?!” She had hissed, looking around vainly for some form of cloth to give him. He shrugged tiredly.

“happens” he mumbled softly. She cursed again, wiped at his top lip with the corner of her sleeve. Only for the blood reappear, slowly dripping from his nose. What the fuck?  _ Oh. _

Later, after Una cleaned them both up and Chris got a nap, they would laugh about the incident. Getting a nosebleed while going down on her is probably the least violent way he’s ever shed blood for her. That, and the fact that he soldiered on in getting her off despite both blood and exhaustion is as admirable to her as it is horrifying to Phil. To this day, if questioned. Chris mearley shrugs. 

 

20.) 

Sometimes, pulling on each other’s hair is sexy, like when their heads are between each other’s thighs. But you know what was decidedly  _ not  _ sexy? Una getting her hair trapped under someone’s limbs or hands when they’ve pinned her down to fuck her. Una’s hair sticking to the nape of her neck with sweat during and after sex. Una’s hair getting in her face or one of her lovers faces when she bends down to kiss them from where she is on top of them. Una’s hair looking nice in its curls for all of a few minutes of love making before they all decide to spring loose and migrate outward however they fancy, making midday trysts all but impossible unless she tied it up or decided to look like a puff ball for the rest of the day. Vina got off easy when she decided that hiding her cyber-augment lines and scalp and facial scars wasn’t necessary anymore and cut her hair short like their boys. Una wondered some days if she should follow her example if only to be rid of the inconveniences.

But then she would have to say goodbye to the times when her lovers carded their fingers through her hair, taking care in messing up her careful curls “because you look cute all ruffled”. Or the nights after long days where Vina would spend ages brushing out her hair and combing through it with her fingers and scratching her scalp until Una fell asleep to the soothing sensations. Or all the times Chris or Phil or Vina would braid her hair back for her before going to bed, or before going to some kind of Starfleet event, or just simply because they wanted to see her smile at their finished work.

And she would especially miss times like the one on Mirana IV, when she let local adolescents braid small native flowers into her hair and she went to get up to “Show her Captain what a great job they did” and when she looked to find her partners they were already looking at her, so softly and full of youthful delight at her floral appearance that it made her feel like the most wanted woman in the world.

For all the inconveniences, having her hair long has its perks. As she thinks about it, her lovers settle into the bed around her. Phil nestles into her back, buries his head into the back of her neck. Yeah, she’ll keep it for a while.

  
  


Intimacy has its pitfalls, embarrassing moments, and downright failures. But they can laugh with each other when they happen, or at the very least, laugh after the fact when time has made them realize it  _ was _ pretty fucking funny.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *Takes a slow drag of some unidentified smoking leaves* Sex ain’t all synchronized orgasms and flawless finishes my dudes. Hope that was enjoyable and/or funny. Felt like writing something funny after the wild two weeks I've had post finals. Let me know if you want a part two about the times sex went Actually Right for these nerds. Leave a comment if you laughed, or if you didn’t and wanna roast me. The world is your oyster.


End file.
